Unruly Neurons
  • Home
  • Contact Heather
  • How to Help
  • Mental Illness
  • About Heather
  • Speaking Engagements
Unruly Neurons
  • Home
  • Contact Heather
  • How to Help
  • Mental Illness
  • About Heather
  • Speaking Engagements

Past Versions of Ourselves

by Heather Loeb December 23, 2021
by Heather Loeb December 23, 2021 0 comment

As Christmas approaches, a lot of us are spending time with old friends and family, which can be stressful for anyone.

collage-of-beautiful-girl-with-different-facial-expressions-isolated-4

I checked in with one friend who traveled to Texas for Christmas, and even though she was around her sisters and her parents, she felt left out. They still treated her like a child, she said. It was like they could only see her as a bratty teenager, a role she has long abandoned.

I can understand that. Not about the teenager thing, but I feel with some people who have known me for a long time see only a past version of myself and don’t see or acknowledge that I’ve grown.

It feels like I’ve grown a lot, especially in the past three years. I’m not even the same person I was last Wednesday, and I think that’s fine. But it can be disappointed when someone gets stuck on who you were. An example (I admit it’s not the greatest example) is a comment a family member made about me being a picky eater. I was puzzled when the comment was made and later I asked my husband if I was a picky eater. I remember being one as a child but not so much now. A better example might be when another family member prefaced her statements with, “OK, try not to fly of the handle when I tell you this…”

I thought it was weird. I don’t usually get overly emotional or irritated when people tell me things, contrary to what my husband might say. I took the news just fine — it was nothing to get emotional about.

But that’s what I’m talking about. Maybe years (previous Heathers) before I would’ve gotten upset, but not now. Maybe my growth isn’t apparent to others, but I definitely know it’s there. My therapist would agree with that, for sure. I’ve come a long way, and I work hard to be emotionally healthy. Especially since returning from the psychiatric hospital. Before I didn’t take care of myself. I was about instant gratification, doing things that I thought felt good (binge eating, cutting, abusing meds, etc). I was suicidal, but didn’t take my meds regularly or even attend therapy often. I ended up being a sick, miserable version of myself, and it was hard to swallow who I was.

That person wasn’t bad, necessarily. It was just I was then. I was doing my best to survive, and I think it’s important to appreciate that. Sometimes we have to go through things like that to grow; I’m just glad I came out of it healthier. Now I’m a better wife, mom, friend, daughter, etc.

Maybe I should’ve pointed out my growth to those family members, but then again, I’m not growing for them. This is about me. I’m proud of who I am and the 796 previous versions of me.

So if you’re spending time this week with loved ones who have known you for a long time, give them a little grace. And be sure you’re not judging them for who they used to be, too. It’s easy for me to list my limitations, but when it comes to others, I don’t always acknowledge theirs, or their growth. I (you) should be present and get to know them as who they are now, not who I think they should be or want them to be. Read that again.

I hope y’all have a very Merry Christmas and Happy New Year.

I can’t wait to see who I grow to be this coming year.

As always, stay in the light.

anxietyDepressiondepression bloggeneralized anxiety disordermajor depressionmajor depressive disordermental health blog
0 comment
1
FacebookTwitterPinterestEmail
Heather Loeb

For decades I've struggled with major depressive disorder, generalized anxiety disorder, avoidant personality disorder, dysthymia and an eating disorder. I pen my misadventures here, but you can also find my column in the Corpus Christi Caller-Times (caller.com). Thanks for reading and for your support.

previous post
Core Beliefs: My Brain is a Liar
next post
In a Nutshell: My Week in Review

Leave a Comment Cancel Reply

Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment.

Tags

anxiety anxiety disorder anxiety disorder. generalized anxiety disorder avoidant personality disorder binge eating Binge Eating Disorder body positivity Chronic Pain compulsive eating coronavirus Depression depression blog diet coke eating disorder ECT ECT treatment electroconvulsive therapy family generalized anxiety disorder getting healthy healthy living ketamine major depression major depressive disorder mdd menninger clinic Mental Health mental health blog mental illness mental illness blog mental wellness migraines overeating parenting parenting blog parenting with depression self care stigma of depression suicidal ideation suicide suicide prevention TMS transcranial magnetic stimulation treatment resistant depression Weight Loss

Tags

anxiety anxiety disorder anxiety disorder. generalized anxiety disorder avoidant personality disorder binge eating Binge Eating Disorder body positivity Chronic Pain compulsive eating coronavirus Depression depression blog diet coke eating disorder ECT ECT treatment electroconvulsive therapy family generalized anxiety disorder getting healthy healthy living ketamine major depression major depressive disorder mdd menninger clinic Mental Health mental health blog mental illness mental illness blog mental wellness migraines overeating parenting parenting blog parenting with depression self care stigma of depression suicidal ideation suicide suicide prevention TMS transcranial magnetic stimulation treatment resistant depression Weight Loss

Categories

  • anxiety
  • Beauty
  • Binge Eating Disorder
  • Chronic Pain
  • coronavirus
  • Depression
  • family
  • getting healthy
  • Health
  • Ketamine/Spravato
  • Kids
  • Mental Health
  • migraines
  • Parenting
  • Postpartum Depression
  • Self-care
  • Suicide
  • TMS
  • treatment resistant depression
  • Uncategorized
  • Weight Loss
  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Instagram
  • Linkedin
  • Email

@2019 - All Right Reserved. Designed and Developed by PenciDesign