I have not blogged in a long time. This pass week is understandable because my husband was gone for two days and my beloved housekeeper was on vacation the whole week. I may sound pathetic to some, but omg it was tough. Although I did better than I thought I would. I cleaned all four litter boxes daily, I did the laundry (almost daily), I picked up and we went to see Santa Claus. I didn’t cook dinner but that’s minor, I feel.
I was looking forward to my husband to come home, and I was happy when he came home, but something didn’t feel right. I don’t know if I just was burned out from being alone with the kids, but I felt so tired and depressed. My energy that I had saved for the kids was nowhere in sight. I was just down. I got a break over the weekend when my kids went to their grandma’s but I couldn’t even take a shower. I had to lay down in the tub and wash my hair like that.
I’ve felt better today; I actually took a real shower, but something’s still nagging at me. The Sunday Night Scaries are in overdrive because it’s going to be a very busy week. Hell, the rest of the month is. When I think that way, I just want to shut down, but of course I know I can’t and won’t.
In the morning my alarm will go off at 5 a.m. and my day will begin like it always does. They’ll be a Christmas party this week here and there — that’ll be fun — hopefully I’ll get back to feeling like me. Faking it is too much work. For now I’m focusing on self-care and positive affirmations.
I will not go down without fighting
