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Unruly Neurons
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  • Contact Heather
  • How to Help
  • Mental Illness
  • About Heather
  • Speaking Engagements

A Binge is Not a Binge Unless it is But it’s Not

by Heather Loeb February 8, 2023
by Heather Loeb February 8, 2023 0 comment

So if y’all have been reading, you know I’m going through a tough time, but things have been better the past week and I don’t know why. I was bingeing a lot last week, and I do mean a lot, but I’ve seemed to kick the habit for the time being.

It was weird. I haven’t binged like that in a loooong time. I was eating sugar powdered donuts, candy, more candy, popcorn, beef jerky, more candy, donuts and more. I gained about 7 pounds, but now I’ve got it back down to 4. Nothing really made me happy except the Smart Food popcorn. I don’t know why. I’m still have a 100-calorie bag a day because they are freaking delicious.

binge-eating-disorder-concept-with-woman-eating-fast-food-burger-fired-chicken-donuts-and-desserts-3

But after a few days I thought to myself, “okay girl, you’ve had your fun, now it’s time to do the work.” That’s the first time I’ve said/done that. Weird. Growth. So I started wearing real clothes again – no more leggings and big shirts or sweatshirts. The numbers on the scale don’t mean anything unless you get back into your real clothes and feel the gain.

So I put on some jeans and a shirt. They are tighter, not completely uncomfortable, but I can’t tell the difference in where I was before. This is a good coping skill for me, because I don’t like to be uncomfortably, emotionally or physically. I still look fly though. It’s just a reminder that there are consequences when I eat unhealthy foods and don’t take care of myself. I don’t don’t like knowing I did that or the guilt that follows.

Bingeing isn’t the big problem, though. It’s a symptom. Of depression, of stress. And while I feel good now, I wasn’t feeling good when I started doing it so it makes me feel like it was due to losing my friend or just the general stress in my life. Probably losing my friend. But there’s nothing I can do about it right now. Except accept it and go about my business, and that’s my plan.

Speaking of business, things are good. I have a lot to focus on right now, and it has been so fun. So much to look forward to. I’m working on staying in the present and practice gratitude, as well.

I’m doing all that I can. I know I just said that.

Sometimes if you repeat something enough times, it becomes the truth.

Things are good. I’m great. Life is good. I’m so grateful.

anxietybinge eatingBinge Eating DisorderDepressiondepression blogeating disordergeneralized anxiety disordermajor depressive disorderMental Healthmental health blogmental illness
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Heather Loeb

For decades I've struggled with major depressive disorder, generalized anxiety disorder, avoidant personality disorder, dysthymia and an eating disorder. I pen my misadventures here, but you can also find my column in the Corpus Christi Caller-Times (caller.com). Thanks for reading and for your support.

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anxiety anxiety disorder anxiety disorder. generalized anxiety disorder avoidant personality disorder binge eating Binge Eating Disorder body positivity Chronic Pain compulsive eating coronavirus Depression depression blog diet coke eating disorder ECT ECT treatment electroconvulsive therapy family generalized anxiety disorder getting healthy healthy living ketamine major depression major depressive disorder mdd menninger clinic Mental Health mental health blog mental illness mental illness blog mental wellness migraines overeating parenting parenting blog parenting with depression self care stigma of depression suicidal ideation suicide suicide prevention TMS transcranial magnetic stimulation treatment resistant depression Weight Loss

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