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  • How to Help
  • Mental Illness
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  • Speaking Engagements

The Other Side

by Heather Loeb September 9, 2018
by Heather Loeb September 9, 2018 0 comment

I have a new respect for my husband. And any other partner of someone who has depression and anxiety. I’ve realized these past few months – a year, maybe – couldn’t have been easy for husband. I’ve gone from almost manic happy to severely depressed and hospitalized; I’ve told him I don’t feel well almost everyday; and he’s the one who helps me when my anxiety attacks come, which they do often. It’s got to be hard on the other side. We might not be suffering the same way but I imagine it’s a struggle to see his other half down and out.

DSC01340He’s so patient and sympathetic. I truly picked a good one. But it’s not always perfect, sometimes we fight about my depression. Sometimes it’s too much for him to bear all the responsibility while his wife can barely get in the shower and brush her teeth. That’s an accomplishment some days. Who else is with me?

So, I’m wondering…does every married couple or relationship suffer if one has depression/anxiety? Tell me, friends.

On another note, Rosh Hashanah begins tonight. For those who don’t know, Rosh Hashanah is the Jewish New Year. It’s a chance to start over, reflect over the past year and then prepare to apologize to those who you have wronged (Yom Kippur).  I of course plan on apologizing to my husband but I owe myself a big apology too. I haven’t taken care of myself, I’ve put others’ needs in front of mine (kinda hard not to do when you have kids) and I haven’t shown up for myself. I break promises to myself all the time. But now I’d like to change all that.

I sometimes rely way too much on my meds and therapy to slough through my depression and that’s fine but I want to make an effort, when I can, to really meet all my needs, stop talking negatively to myself and practice self care. I know that will help immensely in my marriage. After all, you can’t pour from an empty cup. I want to be better for me and my family and I believe self care is the first step to that goal.

So, here’s to the new year. L’shana tov, friends.

Update on TMS: I’ve had 14 treatments and I’ve started to notice little things that are better. Around the 20th treatment is when I’m supposed to notice major changes and I’m looking forward to that.

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Heather Loeb

For decades I've struggled with major depressive disorder, generalized anxiety disorder, avoidant personality disorder, dysthymia and an eating disorder. I pen my misadventures here, but you can also find my column in the Corpus Christi Caller-Times (caller.com). Thanks for reading and for your support.

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anxiety anxiety disorder anxiety disorder. generalized anxiety disorder avoidant personality disorder binge eating Binge Eating Disorder body positivity Chronic Pain compulsive eating coronavirus Depression depression blog diet coke eating disorder ECT ECT treatment electroconvulsive therapy family generalized anxiety disorder getting healthy healthy living ketamine major depression major depressive disorder mdd menninger clinic Mental Health mental health blog mental illness mental illness blog mental wellness migraines overeating parenting parenting blog parenting with depression self care stigma of depression suicidal ideation suicide suicide prevention TMS transcranial magnetic stimulation treatment resistant depression Weight Loss

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