I decided I’d write a blog every Sunday detailing my week and exploring my progress with depression. You’re not in for a treat with this one. Sorry!
I’m feeling sorry for myself today. It doesn’t happen often, but it sure sucks when it does. I keep thinking, “Why do I have to struggle so much? Why can’t I go longer than three weeks being happy and active?”
I realize others have it worse than I do and that puts things in perspective— for about a minute or two. I’m grateful for the happy times I have and that ECT even works for me but god it feels so awful when the happy emotions leave my body and all that’s left is despair and dread.
Fuck depression.
I know I’ll feel better. I’m getting an ECT tomorrow, so I’m sure I’ll have some relief. I just wish I didn’t have to go under general anesthesia and have a seizure to get it.
I’m not going to say anymore because I just don’t have anything nice to say.
Here’s to a new week. A new me.
