I decided I’d write a blog every Sunday detailing my week and exploring my progress with depression. You’re not in for a treat with this one. Sorry!
I’m feeling sorry for myself today. It doesn’t happen often, but it sure sucks when it does. I keep thinking, “Why do I have to struggle so much? Why can’t I go longer than three weeks being happy and active?”
I realize others have it worse than I do and that puts things in perspective— for about a minute or two. I’m grateful for the happy times I have and that ECT even works for me but god it feels so awful when the happy emotions leave my body and all that’s left is despair and dread.
I know I’ll feel better. I’m getting an ECT tomorrow, so I’m sure I’ll have some relief. I just wish I didn’t have to go under general anesthesia and have a seizure to get it.
I’m not going to say anymore because I just don’t have anything nice to say.
Here’s to a new week. A new me.